I've never really considered myself gone, but it still feels right to say that I'm back. I've been spending a lot of time at Polecats Manila the past few weeks, and I am downright in love with it. I'm back doing the things that I love til my body is dead tired. Given how crazy my schedule has been, I've learned to appreciate these quiet moments of creating. The small spaces in between the intense, which make up its intensity. Sharing with you my training log, not because it's perfect, but because I am proud of what this season is teaching me with change.
In a nutshell, the past few months has taught me the following:
Standing up for what you believe in is always worth it. Even if it means going against the flow. Even if it means losing something you've wanted.
Wants change. But when you finally have it, you don't realize that they do, or even the thought that they can. Even the slightest possibility of not wanting what you've wanted for so long will never be in your horizon. It is only in fully letting go do you see what more could be done, this is not to say that to want is wrong. No. Not at all. It's more of -- allow yourself to lose in order to gain. Let nothing change your principles. You are your own person, and in the end, that's really all you need.
Don't deny yourself of feeling.
We live in a world where happy seems to be the only legitimate feeling. But the truth is, this is not always the case. To assume that happy is the only correct state is to deny yourself of a plethora of human experience (Homework : Watch Inside Out). We are far more complex beings than happy. So cry if you need to. Feel angry if you do. It is through emotions that we get to rationalize the world around us. A complete opposite of what everyone else is telling you how to go through change. They are wrong. Your feelings are valid. So go ahead and feel.
It is in the midst of adversity that you find out who your real friends are.
When shit hits the fan, that's when you learn who will stand with you amidst whatever the circumstance may be. I've already experienced this a few times before, but recently I've been reminded of it. I am a fierce defender of people I consider friends, because that's how we should be towards each other. Love expecting nothing in return. Be true because everyone deserves the truth. In times of change, you'll discover many things about yourself, but also much more about the people you spend time with.
So finally, after what seemed to be forever I got to train with my doubles partner, Duds before he leaves for the US. Here are my favorite shapes from our session. My pull up muscles are dead. I've tried all sorts of workouts, but nothing beats having to carry your own body weight, plus the weight of another person, and make it look pretty. Pole is seriously hardcore. If you don't believe me, head on over to Polecats Manila and come see for yourself. It will be the funnest, most difficult thing you will ever do in your life.
Wrapping up this post, in summary all there's left to do is to create. Create when you can, and use it to power you through the season. Don't deny yourself of feeling, because there is beauty in all human experience. Live, love, cry, dance. Because life is too short not to.